Healing

Family and friends,

Thank you for checking in. We're grateful for the idea to start this blog as a way for everyone to stay updated and connected.  We'd like to start by first sharing with you our story.  

It all started sometime back in early fall when Sarah found a small lump in her left breast. She always had a history of fibrocystic breasts – for many years small lumps would come and go with monthly cycles – so finding a lump was a common occurrence that would usually disappear within a few weeks or a few months.  In 2006 she found a lump, which then led to a mammogram and ultrasound.  There was no biopsy needed, as it was found to be a cyst.  The history of the fibrocystic condition lead to her guard being way down and so back to last fall 2012, she noticed the lump and knew that her yearly exam was coming up and had an appointment in early January. She brought the lump to the Dr’s attention, and a referral for a mammogram was given. The next available appointment was made for February 4^th.

Meanwhile, life kept going on, and on January 12^th, we took a little test and were ecstatic to find out that we were expecting baby number two.  With that exciting news, Sarah cancelled the mammogram appointment, knowing she was pregnant and not wanting to expose the baby to any radiation.  Sadly, on February 21^st, it was confirmed that we had lost the baby.  It was very tough on us, but we stayed strong, knowing that this happens all the time, and that once her body was fully recovered, we would try again soon.   

Sarah then rescheduled the mammogram appointment for Friday, March 8^th.  A mammogram and ultrasound revealed five masses in the left breast.  The radiologist reviewed the images and noticed that the axillary node was also prominent, so they performed a same day biopsy of both the axillary node and three of the five masses.  Stunned, but hopeful the masses were benign, we waited for what we were told would be a week until the results were back.  Five days later, on Wednesday, March 13^th, Sarah and Lena had just gotten to the playground when she got a phone call from her Dr.’s office saying, “You and your husband need to come into the office today.”  Sarah immediately knew what that meant.  She then called Jason at work and he came home.  We went in to the Dr’s office that afternoon, and we were the last patients to be seen that day.  We found ourselves in the same office where, just three weeks before, we were told that we had lost the baby.  Next, the words came, “You guys know why you’re here, I’m sure.  The results of the biopsy came back positive, you have breast cancer, and it looks like you’re going to need a mastectomy.”  After that, we couldn’t tell you what was said.

What happened next was a complete whirlwind of seemingly endless doctors appointments: four surgeons, three oncologists, a reproductive endocrinologist, and tests, tests, tests.  We spent two weeks being as proactive as we could to help establish our team of doctors and the best treatment plan. After a lot of wrangling to get appointments with the right doctors, we were finally able to get into Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center here in New York City.  The Memorial oncologist was our third oncologist visit, and after meeting with her, we knew we had found the right person. 

Because of the fact that the type of cancer that Sarah has is a rare, aggressive and advanced one (the cancer was already in stage IIIC when we found it), the planned treatment is for five months of chemotherapy first, followed by the mastectomy (possibly bilateral), then possibly more chemotherapy if needed, then radiation, and then reconstruction. It is going to be a very long road.

During this whirlwind search of doctors, we were also thrown another curve ball that needed immediate attention.  We were told that there was a chance that the chemo would knock out Sarah’s ovaries, making us unable to have more children.  We were told that we should look into freezing embryos for post treatment IVF.  This sent us into a very emotional two days of trying to decide whether or not to go forward with having Sarah go through two weeks of taking hormonal drugs to stimulate egg maturation, followed by a surgical procedure of harvesting the eggs.  This would all be done, and then the day after the eggs are harvested, Sarah would start chemotherapy.  We figured that most people, when faced with IVF treatment, have sufficient time to do their research and make an educated and informed decision on how they want to proceed.  We had two days.  Something just wasn’t sitting right in the decision to move forward with the plan to put Sarah’s body through that kind of stress just before the intense stress of chemotherapy.  This was a difficult decision, and we were in an extreme emotional dilemma filled with all the anguish of these difficult days.  In the end, we thought of how extremely lucky we were to have our healthy, happy little girl, as well as the chance that we could still have children after treatment, and the option to adopt in the future, so we decided it wasn’t worth stressing Sarah’s body at such a difficult time.  Yet, at the same time, there was always a little something in the back of our minds that was still questioning whether we would regret this decision in the future if faced with infertility. We told our oncologist about this dilemma, and she immediately said she didn’t feel that we should delay chemo for two weeks for the egg harvesting – those were the words we needed to hear to feel comfortable with our decision, with no future regrets.

So we had our medical team and plan in place, and could begin to breathe… just a little bit.  Days and days of pre-chemo tests included a PET scan that confirmed that there was no distant spread of the cancer, but for some involvement of the internal mammary nodes.  Sarah also had another biopsy of the right breast to rule out the presence of cancer there, and thankfully that came back benign.  Chemotherapy round 1 was set for Thursday March 28^th, just two weeks after diagnosis.  Months before, we had bought tickets to one of our favorite live music artists so we were very happy to be able to get out for a night of great music with great friends prior to starting chemotherapy the next day. 

The first chemo visit was a surreal, but comfortable experience. It just so happened that Sarah acquired a nasty chest cold about this same time. The first few days after chemo were fine, then the cold really hit and along with it some chemo-related nausea, so Sarah spent the week feeling wrecked, with little appetite and a bad cough.  After five days of little improvement, the low-grade fever concerned the oncologist, so this past Friday we went in for a chest x-ray and another blood test. Sarah’s white blood cell count had plummeted, so the combination of severe nuetropenia with a fever lead to a hospital admission that day. Four days later Sarah’s cell counts improved to normal, and she was finally discharged. Despite a cough and some stomach irritation from the IV antibiotics, she is feeling much better - all this just in time for her chemo treatment round 2 coming up this Thursday.

So there it is, as neatly wrapped up as we could make it. Now that things are slowing down a bit for us, we are gradually coming to terms with what we are dealing with.  It still seems very surreal. There have been many setbacks along the way over these past three weeks, but we are trying to keep our focus on all the small victories instead.  For example, when we discovered that our insurance covered care here at Memorial Sloan- Kettering, we were very grateful that we could be in the hands of one of the top cancer centers in the country. We still have many more mountains to climb though, and not just with this terrible disease.  Jason had just signed a contract with an orthodontist in Savannah, GA, so we were getting ready for that move after his graduation in June.  When faced with this though, we felt that it would be best to stay here in NY for the duration of treatment, so now we have a lot more to figure out.  Jason has his written boards test in 9 days; he needs to complete his residency and graduate in less than three months.  After doing the job search for cities outside NYC, we now have to find employment locally, we’ll need to likely find a place to move to after June as we are living in hospital housing that won’t be an option after graduation, we’ve got to figure out insurance coverage after graduation, etc.  So much to figure out, but we’re doing our best to compartmentalize everything and handle one hurdle at a time. 

We have faith that God will help carry us through these tough times.  We know that we will come out of this stronger and forever changed.  We are eternally grateful for all of our family and friends here in NY and beyond who have reached out and helped selflessly to keep us glued together these past few weeks.  If you would like to reach out to us, please do.  Please feel free to call, write, email, text, whatever… it means the world to us to hear from all of you that have become a part of our story through this journey of life thus far.   

Please keep the prayers, positive thoughts and energy coming our way as we work through this treatment.

All of our love,

Sarah, Jason and Lena  

jasonhorndds@gmail.com

shalperin26@yahoo.com